I remember our old country home
Clean fresh air and the flowers growing
In the fields, along the path, beside our swimming hole
Momma hollering through the screen
Would you kids like some homemade ice cream?
That was such a simpler time and place
Blue Bell tastes just like the good old days
The previous two paragraphs are from a Bluebell ice cream commercial that was played on the radio relentlessly this past summer. Does this appeal to anyone? Because it just bothers the fuck out of me. I don’t remember the old swimming hole, our old country home, or my “momma hollerin’ through the screen.” Who are these people talking to? Why not make a Bluebell commercial targeting the ghetto? I think if they did it would go something like this…
I remember our old ghetto slum
dirty crack houses and the bullets flying
In the alley, by the dumpster, beside our crack whore Betty
The cops hollering through the speaker
you kids seen this tweeker.
That was such a shitty time and place
Bluebell tastes just like a hooker’s ass.
Something tells me that the advertising executives wouldn’t go for that. They would cite reasons such as “that doesn’t even rhyme half the time (but that did)” and “you shouldn’t compare our product to a hooker’s ass.” Bullshit! You just don’t like people in the ghetto! Call Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson! Let’s march on the Bluebell corporate headquarters!
